Turn around.

Okay. I thought about it...about the idea I had suggested below. Even though I did not agree with it at any point and still maintain my stand, I guess it was important that I mentioned it. I mentioned how human mind worked. It might be wrong, but how does it matter! I guess it is extremely difficult for me to budge. Let me be. Let me be the "sometimes over-friendly and sometimes over-hostile" person. People are what they are. They are not perfect. Nobody is. I am going to be myself- the imperfect self and help people when they come my way or sometimes go out of the way to do so. If I have to, I will until I feel I am being taken for granted. And also, I will try to be a patient listener- whether its a problem or a pride show. That is the standard I have and will continue to have. So what if some don't like it, I still enjoy being myself.

What are friends for?

I never really understood why we have friends- Just to go out for a coffee? To sit and chat for ours with? To share things with? To expect them to help you out when distressed? Or above all this can you also expect to talk to them about whatever you want without being judged? I guess this is not something you can expect. No matter who your friend is, expect to be judged for every word you say. After all friends are just normal people who hang out with you. And you too must go ahead judge every single act of your friends'. If he calls you a bitch, take offence to it and call him a bastard. Then and there. If he asks you to shut up, don't shut up even if you have to. You ask the person to shut up. Whatever be the circumstance i.e. even if your friend is dying in emotional crisis, you must be bothered about your ego, your self-respect (which was never meant to be hurt) and your life. If your friend says something even slightly rude when in some trouble, you must overlook the problem he is going through and shout at your friend. What is the need to adjust? What is the need to recollect instances when your friend might have borne the brunt of your temper just because you were in some trouble? Especially some instances when you went your way to help and got it back. How does all that matter? You must show it back now. Its a cool thing to do. Run after it. Period.

Apparently, this is how it works. Sadly, I just realized it. A little too late. But yeah, I have learned it now. I might not agree with it but it is something I need to do to be normal. Learned the art of just showing it on the person. That is to say if I have a friend who comes to me with a problem and says something even slightly bitter, rude or sarcastic, I will pounce on the person pretermitting the possibility that he might have done it solely because he was in some discomfort and did not intend to hurt you. This is how a human mind should work. It must take cognizance of every single word your friend utters, store it in and vent it out at the right time. The right time does not mean your friend should be happy and smiling. It is preferable to show it when he is complete hardship. It is so cool, right? Try it and tell me how it felt. I just hope I can at least try to be good at it because I usually suck at handling people. Either I am over-friendly or over-hostile. :)

Little Joys of the Not-so-long Life- Part I

When I was putting down a post yesterday, there were a list of things running in mind...ones that I would look forward to anytime, any day and any where! The best part is when such lovely little things happen when you least anticipate them. They come by and make your day. Countless, yet I thought I must put down some. May be we would have something common...the little pleasures to save for a lifetime!!

I study in Bangalore and hence get to go back home (Chennai!!) at least once a month. The ritual is to rush from classes (at 1:30 in the afternoon) on a Friday afternoon to catch the Brindavan at 2:30. Though it is one of the crowdest trains in India with people getting in, with or without a ticket, and stuffy...it still gives you the hope that you will reach home for dinner. A nice home-cooked meal. When I reach Madras station at 8:30, Dad would be there waiting for me with cake (or something to snack on) from a bakery in Spencers Plaza (on his way from office)...he has never come late. Never. I usually go home after exams or submissions...But the questions my dad asks have never been related to academics. It would be something like "hostel sapadu ippo paravaliya? (Has the mess food become any better?)";"gowthaman, vivek, latchana, tuhina ellam epdi irukanga" (How are gowthaman, vivek, tuhina and latchana doing?); "friends-a kootindu vara vendiyadhu dhaan-e" (Why dont you bring your friends home sometime?) etc... Once we get into the car, I grab the phone from dad and give my mom a call. And I know she would pick it up with the very first ring! Through out the drive, dad will take me around the city (as if I have never been around) and give me updates about the place. When I finally reach home at 9:30, Mom would be waiting at the door to greet me saying "Chellam! Vandhutiya...Epdi irukka?!" (Dear! You have come, finally...How are you?!). By then, my bed would have been made with the A/C turned on so that the room is not hot. Within minutes of freshening up, hot dosas with sambhar and curd-molagapodi are served. For desert, it has always been the carrot halwa I love. By this time, dad will already be whining about how I sweep away all the attention when home! :D After an hour of updating my mom about hostel, Bangalore, the train journey, etc, I go to sleep. Go to sleep on a well-made bed with the temperature just right (thanks to the a/c!) and cuddle up in a blanket. As every other time, the weekend would begin...full of hopes and plans. And I have never gotten bored of this routine. :)

The Feel-Good Factor. :)

After the disastrous terrorist attacks in Bombay, my parents (who live miles away in Germany) promptly gave me a ring to find out if I was okay. And a long long lecture about how I should strictly stay on campus, not interact with strangers or eat things they offer (yes! they still remind me about it), stock up my fridge with lot of food stuff so I dont have to go out anywhere and top up my phone card for at least 300 bucks so I can make emergency calls. I mean I was happy we, in Bangalore, were safe but it was even better to know how, no matter what, there are people who think of you and check on you. I am sure all of us have someone or the other somewhere in the world. I mean all of us and it is upto to oneself to figure out who, where and how. It is practically impossible to keep in touch with every single person we know all the time and we all know that. It is stupid to count your blessings that way. What really matters is to know we have someone around and that loneliness is just a temporary dump. :)

Call for Hygiene

I do remember learning the hygiene chart when in class 2 or so which certainly and importantly included bathing. Bathing once a day, at least. I can’t say if it is because of my hygiene lessons that I bathe everyday but I do. I have to. I can't imagine the stickiness and oiliness associated with not bathing every morning. Even if I wake up at 8:30 (and class is at 8:50), I can never afford to miss my five-minute-bath. And if at all I miss it, I get all sad and irritated by the end of classes; run back to the hostel to have my bath and regain my senses. Bathing, hence, is essential and compulsory. Back home, the process gets further complicated with a typical tam routine. Sunday-na yenna thechu kulikanum (oil bath on Sundays) and thalaikku shikkai thechu kulikanum (where you wash your hair with shikkai). Though mom never enforced these two regularly, bathing still was an indispensable part of the day. Like pati (grand mom) says "saptu kulikriyo, kulichitu sapdriyo...illa sapdama-le kulikriyo, kulikradhu must!" (Whether you eat and bathe or bathe and eat or starve and bathe, bathing is a must). I never thought it was possible to do without it. However it is not that universal as it is made to sound. This is something I see in hostel. I don’t know if I should blame the schedule or the laziness these guys are drowned in. There are categories. Some of them don’t bathe at all; some bathe once a month or on special occasions (such as going out!); some bathe once a week and a very few bathe everyday. This wouldn’t have been my concern if people around don’t stink so much. And I am sure they know they do. Why on earth would anyone want to be stinking? Why? Don’t they have a conscience (Yes, I believe it is almost unethical to not bathe!) that pricks them? I wish they did. I wish things would magically change and people would start bathing everyday (or at least once in two days)...or am I just asking for too much?