What are friends for?

I never really understood why we have friends- Just to go out for a coffee? To sit and chat for ours with? To share things with? To expect them to help you out when distressed? Or above all this can you also expect to talk to them about whatever you want without being judged? I guess this is not something you can expect. No matter who your friend is, expect to be judged for every word you say. After all friends are just normal people who hang out with you. And you too must go ahead judge every single act of your friends'. If he calls you a bitch, take offence to it and call him a bastard. Then and there. If he asks you to shut up, don't shut up even if you have to. You ask the person to shut up. Whatever be the circumstance i.e. even if your friend is dying in emotional crisis, you must be bothered about your ego, your self-respect (which was never meant to be hurt) and your life. If your friend says something even slightly rude when in some trouble, you must overlook the problem he is going through and shout at your friend. What is the need to adjust? What is the need to recollect instances when your friend might have borne the brunt of your temper just because you were in some trouble? Especially some instances when you went your way to help and got it back. How does all that matter? You must show it back now. Its a cool thing to do. Run after it. Period.

Apparently, this is how it works. Sadly, I just realized it. A little too late. But yeah, I have learned it now. I might not agree with it but it is something I need to do to be normal. Learned the art of just showing it on the person. That is to say if I have a friend who comes to me with a problem and says something even slightly bitter, rude or sarcastic, I will pounce on the person pretermitting the possibility that he might have done it solely because he was in some discomfort and did not intend to hurt you. This is how a human mind should work. It must take cognizance of every single word your friend utters, store it in and vent it out at the right time. The right time does not mean your friend should be happy and smiling. It is preferable to show it when he is complete hardship. It is so cool, right? Try it and tell me how it felt. I just hope I can at least try to be good at it because I usually suck at handling people. Either I am over-friendly or over-hostile. :)

Little Joys of the Not-so-long Life- Part I

When I was putting down a post yesterday, there were a list of things running in mind...ones that I would look forward to anytime, any day and any where! The best part is when such lovely little things happen when you least anticipate them. They come by and make your day. Countless, yet I thought I must put down some. May be we would have something common...the little pleasures to save for a lifetime!!

I study in Bangalore and hence get to go back home (Chennai!!) at least once a month. The ritual is to rush from classes (at 1:30 in the afternoon) on a Friday afternoon to catch the Brindavan at 2:30. Though it is one of the crowdest trains in India with people getting in, with or without a ticket, and stuffy...it still gives you the hope that you will reach home for dinner. A nice home-cooked meal. When I reach Madras station at 8:30, Dad would be there waiting for me with cake (or something to snack on) from a bakery in Spencers Plaza (on his way from office)...he has never come late. Never. I usually go home after exams or submissions...But the questions my dad asks have never been related to academics. It would be something like "hostel sapadu ippo paravaliya? (Has the mess food become any better?)";"gowthaman, vivek, latchana, tuhina ellam epdi irukanga" (How are gowthaman, vivek, tuhina and latchana doing?); "friends-a kootindu vara vendiyadhu dhaan-e" (Why dont you bring your friends home sometime?) etc... Once we get into the car, I grab the phone from dad and give my mom a call. And I know she would pick it up with the very first ring! Through out the drive, dad will take me around the city (as if I have never been around) and give me updates about the place. When I finally reach home at 9:30, Mom would be waiting at the door to greet me saying "Chellam! Vandhutiya...Epdi irukka?!" (Dear! You have come, finally...How are you?!). By then, my bed would have been made with the A/C turned on so that the room is not hot. Within minutes of freshening up, hot dosas with sambhar and curd-molagapodi are served. For desert, it has always been the carrot halwa I love. By this time, dad will already be whining about how I sweep away all the attention when home! :D After an hour of updating my mom about hostel, Bangalore, the train journey, etc, I go to sleep. Go to sleep on a well-made bed with the temperature just right (thanks to the a/c!) and cuddle up in a blanket. As every other time, the weekend would begin...full of hopes and plans. And I have never gotten bored of this routine. :)

The Feel-Good Factor. :)

After the disastrous terrorist attacks in Bombay, my parents (who live miles away in Germany) promptly gave me a ring to find out if I was okay. And a long long lecture about how I should strictly stay on campus, not interact with strangers or eat things they offer (yes! they still remind me about it), stock up my fridge with lot of food stuff so I dont have to go out anywhere and top up my phone card for at least 300 bucks so I can make emergency calls. I mean I was happy we, in Bangalore, were safe but it was even better to know how, no matter what, there are people who think of you and check on you. I am sure all of us have someone or the other somewhere in the world. I mean all of us and it is upto to oneself to figure out who, where and how. It is practically impossible to keep in touch with every single person we know all the time and we all know that. It is stupid to count your blessings that way. What really matters is to know we have someone around and that loneliness is just a temporary dump. :)

Call for Hygiene

I do remember learning the hygiene chart when in class 2 or so which certainly and importantly included bathing. Bathing once a day, at least. I can’t say if it is because of my hygiene lessons that I bathe everyday but I do. I have to. I can't imagine the stickiness and oiliness associated with not bathing every morning. Even if I wake up at 8:30 (and class is at 8:50), I can never afford to miss my five-minute-bath. And if at all I miss it, I get all sad and irritated by the end of classes; run back to the hostel to have my bath and regain my senses. Bathing, hence, is essential and compulsory. Back home, the process gets further complicated with a typical tam routine. Sunday-na yenna thechu kulikanum (oil bath on Sundays) and thalaikku shikkai thechu kulikanum (where you wash your hair with shikkai). Though mom never enforced these two regularly, bathing still was an indispensable part of the day. Like pati (grand mom) says "saptu kulikriyo, kulichitu sapdriyo...illa sapdama-le kulikriyo, kulikradhu must!" (Whether you eat and bathe or bathe and eat or starve and bathe, bathing is a must). I never thought it was possible to do without it. However it is not that universal as it is made to sound. This is something I see in hostel. I don’t know if I should blame the schedule or the laziness these guys are drowned in. There are categories. Some of them don’t bathe at all; some bathe once a month or on special occasions (such as going out!); some bathe once a week and a very few bathe everyday. This wouldn’t have been my concern if people around don’t stink so much. And I am sure they know they do. Why on earth would anyone want to be stinking? Why? Don’t they have a conscience (Yes, I believe it is almost unethical to not bathe!) that pricks them? I wish they did. I wish things would magically change and people would start bathing everyday (or at least once in two days)...or am I just asking for too much?

Sunday, as it went by...

The time is 3 a.m and its not a very happy Monday morning for reasons more than one. I have lectures to attend. Around 150(!) pages to copy mindlessly. My exams are coming up in fifteen days. Oh! Make that ten. Four extremely (and unjustifiably) complicated papers which go by the names of International Law, Taxation Law, Jurisprudence and Intellectual (hardly!) Property Law. And most importantly, I just finished wasting an entire Sunday CRIMINALLY. Someone kill me. Please. The entire thought of it has clogged my mind. How could I be so shameless? Why so lazy? From where have I picked up the art of procrastinating (so smoothly that is)? In which decade am I going to realize the need to work? Who would tolerate this when I am not able to do it myself! Well. There are a million such questions that I can ask myself but where is it heading? Ok. Loosen it. Lets analyze the Sunday to see if some hints peek out!

I woke up at eight with the happy news that mom has reached Madras. It is really comforting to be woken up by one's mother, even if its just by a phone call, after a long long time. When I finished the call, it took me just five seconds to convince myself about the 16 hours ahead of me to toil and as to how I deserve (as a matter of some sort of a right?) to sleep for a few more minutes. Thereby, promptly dozed off! Again my phone screamed! But the time was 9:30 then and that shook me out of the bed! Made coffee (which certainly needs no reminder). Set my bed table to write notes. Opened my laptop (now this is where the tragedy kicks in) and started to check my mail. For about two hours, I did nothing but check mail, orkut, facebook, blog page, etc. The time rushed to twelve when I was dragged out to print out tickets and collect reading materials. Lunch. Returned to the room. Time was two and my eyes automatically shut out. Yes! They protest if made to work beyond two in the afternoon. Afternoon nap in an odd position (basically pillow on the floor, my head hanging out, legs up against the wall and hands cuffed under my neck)! And when I woke up, the time was nearly four. I quickly set them up again and started writing tax notes...nearly ten pages and I took three hours! In order to appreciate this immensely satisfying accomplishment of mine, I decided to play a game. And I did for two hours. That's when dinner was served in the mess and I feasted on some surprisingly nice food. I then started writing notes. Just started. Which means writing a few words. Gtalk and an ebook held me back for nearly six hours, with a few conversations with roommates in the middle.

So precisely I was doing all that till this moment! And now obviously, I am terribly sleepy. I cant believe I spent it this way. Utterly forlorn! I do all this even if my eyes burn and stomach growls in hunger. But academic work? No. Hmm... Sundays are precious. And I have realized its worth only after its departure. Now even if I wait for another Sunday, its not going to be the same. Its not going to be 14th September. Its not going to be eleven days to exams anymore. Its ten now. Okay. That's enough. I know I don't need to be getting so emotional about it but you know what I mean... I am just hopeless! This happens with me every time and I never never learn! Let it be! Lets overwork this week. Or may be to begin with, lets just try to sit down in one place and work...